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Clancy: Snake

"It better not be any of that over oaked chardonnay."

'Taxes are going up, but that's no excuse to earn less, Mr. Syms.'

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

Trump Poutine

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

'Seriously, in this day and age, how can people still believe in this nonsense that we have evolved from microbes...?'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

God not-too-happy with the Humans sticking a 'Closing DOWN Sale!' sign on planet Earth

"Them's cat-fightin' words, Arlin!"

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"...No it does state here quite clearly...the right to bear arms...not arm bears."

'We're going to need to find a scapegoat.'

Raised by Dogs

End the Winter Blues

Coming Soon! More Stuff You Could Live Without!

"The president says there isn't a flood. What's the harm in humoring him?" "Hey! Would somebody pull Lindsey up for air?"

'What did I tell you? There's always a catch to those bargain internet travel fares...'

"'How We Die' - fabulous!"

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Hon, I'm home!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

US Credit: 'I'm down grading your credit rating...'

Tequila Mockingbird

'Item 56, we need to schedule a series of meetings to discuss whether we should have meeting to look at whether we're having too many meetings.'

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

'Here, we don't need a retirement plan. If you do your job as we want it, you'll directly go from your desk to hell.'

"I sold my soul for about a tenth of what the damn things are going for now."

'More government surveillance!'

"You calm down."

"I'd like to see you do this online."

'And we'll give you all the carcinogens you can eat.'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."