Humanity Pillows

Intelligent beings from outer space.

"Impress people with your generosity"

Dying Laughing

The grass is always greener on the other side of the fence. I wish I had emotions like people do. I wish I could think as logically as people do. I'd like to take a walk along the shoreline without rusting. Storing energy in a battery rather than a pot belly would be nice. Having a sense of humor would be fun. The ability to selectively delete memories would be great to have. I wish I didn't have to worry about digital viruses. I wish I didn't have to worry about biological viruses.

'Wait till your father gets a home.'

"I don’t know what your invention’s called, but it’s really irritating."

Now showing, at a University near you...

"So what makes you think you're qualified for this job?"

Non-Denominational Carols

'Next time you hear confession from that barmaid say, Tut-tut not COR.'

Creator's Remorse

Michel de Montaigne

"It's thrilling to watch them come out in the morning, ready for the kill!"

"Numerous complaints have led school officials to investigate this popular teacher for encouraging students to pursue degrees in the humanities."

"He's standing upright and using a mobile phone. I think our evolution has begun."

Human History

The Leap of Faith Taken by Alzheimer's Caregivers

"I don't have anything against you in particular. My disdain encompasses humanity as a whole."

"In my first creation I made man introspective, peaceful and considerate. It was sooo boring."

'Yeah, I agree: It's hard to impress females by looking virile and strong when you're all pink...'

English major will work for food.

Inspired

"Being a post-doc for thirty years can really screw up your life."

"Times like these bring out the best in us."

Personnel. How are your people skills?

"You'd think a Humanities professor would be more lenient in her grading."

"Artificial intelligence has just identified humanity's main problem. It's human."

'Tell me. Did the 253 internships come before or after the Ph.D in English?'

Atheism inc. - A Not-For-Prophet Organisation

'Society doesn't see me. They don't care. It's like I'm invisible.'

'Misanthropology.'

'At this point, I'm taking it one paradigm at a time.'

Humanities Department

"Sorry—I live in a parallel universe."

'They're only seeking attention.'