Human Resources Director Mugs

"We like to treat all our employees as individuals. This for example is individual No. P3604."

Your scholastic record is impressive, however, in our experience, valedictorians don't make good yes-men.

'I'd rather be high up on the Totem Pole than high up on a pedestal.'

'Employee benefits? Sure, here you are!'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"This position has become very important to the company."

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

"Morning, all!"

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

"No training period, but you can purchase my instructional video on line for $49.95."

Inclusive speech

'Salaries Manager. No.'

"It's made entirely out of rejected resumes."