Human Resources Director T-Shirts

"We like to treat all our employees as individuals. This for example is individual No. P3604."

Your scholastic record is impressive, however, in our experience, valedictorians don't make good yes-men.

'I'd rather be high up on the Totem Pole than high up on a pedestal.'

'Employee benefits? Sure, here you are!'

'The 'insourcing' will go ahead and some jobs will be off to Leeds or Manchester, but I think I'll be safe...'

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

"Another week another dollar, Jenkins"

"So what kind of mood is he in?"

"The good news is you’re the only one we’re not firing ... the bad news is you’re the only one to run the department."

'Noticeboard? I forgot it was there to be honest.'

"I wonder if A.I. will inevitably become as tired and depressed as we are."

Businesswoman Empowerment

"This position has become very important to the company."

'We invest so much money in training staff...it's a mystery to me why businesses would risk losing them.'

"We need to make some cuts. We'll start with integrity, accountability, openness, and transparency."

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

IN box...OUT is wastepaper basket on fire.

"Oh, yes, and there's plenty of opportunity for advancement."

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

'Yes, I know there's a deadline on this project.'

'The efficiency expert's recommendation is we drink more coffee!'

"Shall we start with an icebreaker?"

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

"They're having a fight over how best to handle client conflict."

"Sorry, we've found an app that's better at being you than you!"

"So, I see you have a background in advertising..."

'Very impressive educational background...now let's discuss WHO you know.!

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

"Morning, all!"

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

Inclusive speech

"We're looking for that perfect blend of vision, ambition and ethical ambiguity."

"Welcome aboard, Bailey. Don't worry — they don't bite."

'Salaries Manager. No.'