Human Development Humorist Mugs

Fountain of Legal Age

"Behold the secret to happiness."

"... and I have a follow-up question regarding rawhide."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"Day 4,261... I don’t know how much longer I can survive. Still no signs of civilization. Food is scarce and I fear the wound on my ankle is infected. Still, all this pales in comparison to the horror of having to be anywhere at any particular time."

MUSHROOM MASACRE.

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

Zenemies.

"Eww - that whale's breath smells awful!" "You could use a breath mint yourself, lady!"

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

' It's a bit of an anti climax - I've washed it but I can't go any where ! '

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

"I condensed my painting to the pure essence of the message. What helps me a lot is the fact that I've got nothing to say at all."

'I'm no expert, but I think we're a little behind when it comes to the latest industry technology.'

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

Clown answers the door to a custard pie in the face.

'That's your third bowl of gruel this week! What is this -- a feeding frenzy?'

'Mom, Dad... we found out that in a previous life, Sheila was a dog and I was a tree. That's why we decided to marry to continue this promising relationship!'

Math Teacher

"So have you ever stopped to ask yourself: If he really knew the secrets of the universe, would he be living in a damn cave?"

Four olives and a toothpick on Newton's Cradle.

"Pendleton, as of noon today your services will no longer be required. Meanwhile, keep up the good work."

"Class, this is David. He's our new financial exchange student."

"I'm thinking of leaving these crowded condos and going to a place that's been deserted for years...the mall."

"All this online learning sort of makes you miss the head lice days, huh?"

"Thank you, and may the I.R.S. accept all your deductions."

'People, get a half-life!'

'I'm writing a vegetarian cook book.'

"....And the weatherman said it was going to be a hot one today so take it easy and stay hydrated..."

"Don't forget the nucleus has mass."

'Eh, love. The one armed bandit at the end of the bar isn't working.'

"The battle of Gettysburg? Uh. . . let me check my civil war app."