Housing Bubble Enthusiast Pillows

'Sorry, but I have to evict you! I just sold your birdhouse for $ 100.000!'

"This is all we have available. It has an accordian front door, a shelf, a phone, and a spectacular view."

"Aren't you the estate agent who sold us this house?"

'. . .actually I'm not a real Guru, I was forced up here originally by the property prices.'

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'He's a blight on the whole neighbourhood.'

I'm buying a house. You're broke. So? the interest rate plans are amazing. The banks are giving money away. Besides, the housing market is going nuts. If I buy today, I can sell next year for a huge profit. I suddenly feel faint. You look ill, Mr. Powell.

An exaggeration of estate agents

'Gee! You must have lost some on this property!'

Real Estate Personals

'We do have a property in your price range, but we need a time machine to go back and visit it!'

'Now, it does require some modernisation. . . .'

"Local authorities are always whining on about the cost of 'affordable' housing..."

'The only means of access was via the previous tenant's hair. But not to worry, there's a ladder 'round the back.'

"I've downsized."

'We do have something in Real Estate for an individual who's willing to starve for a year before turning to the office supplies.'

"And then the three bears were slowly forced out of the neighborhood due to major corporations cornering the market—The once cozy cottage is now an Air B&B." "The end."

'They're playing house.'

'Forget my mortgage application, fill this bag with money. I've decided to make a cash offer!'

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

UP Again: Housing Prices.

"The bank rejected my application for a 2nd mortgage. They said they didn't have 1 in my size."

"For sale £470,000 house included"

New Homes

'We could easily share this nest: You would use it during the day and I would use it at night...'

'Lower the price by ?30k!' 'He's trying to kick-start the housing market.'

'Here's the 2 acres of beachfront property you bought - too bad it's only six inches wide.'

'We can't decide between raising kids and raising a mortgage deposit.'

"The only thing we seem to have in your price range is a bird box in Billericay."

'There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have troubles with those in the back yard.'

"I remember when you used to see 3 or 4 of these a week!"

"It's a bit of a fixer-upper."

Turtle Eviction

"It sucks being reincarnated as a snail, but at least I've finally achieved home ownership."

Affordable housing