Houseplant Whisperer Gifts

The Houseplant Cemetery.

"It's time to split the Hosta funkia!"

"I can't tell whether you've had too much or not enough."

"Somewhere out there, there's a girl who wants to take me home and slowly kill me."

The Fireside Jungle: But specimens should never be introduced unless you know how to look after them.

- whilst central heating is inclined to loosen their leaves."

'See, I told you it was a good idea to talk to the plants.'

Person Who Shouldn't Get Married

"I think you've overfed the plant!"

The Busy Gardener

'If I had known it was going to be such a late Spring, i would have never started my garden seeds, indoors.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

Gardener

Plant Lady

"We really need more perennials? Aren't my weeds and crabgrass enough?"

"Cheery little flowers, saying good night, saying good morning!"

'We use to tiptoe through the tulips. . . now we just waddle through the weeds.'

'I had a wonderful garden last year. Bark beetles, aphids, mealy worms, thripes, wax seal, gray mold, and grubs!'

"Usually gardeners only have green thumbs, so you must really spend a lot of time in the garden."

An Unexpected Guest.

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'I used to do that, but it just grows again.'

Florabation - '..mmm...It must be spring!'

"No! I want to live! I want to live!"

Garden Shop - Top Soil, Bottom Soil (manure)

Garden Goddess.

"Can you tell the oak tree to tell the birch tree to tell the elm tree I said hi?"

'Betty liked the way her house provided lots of private space.'

...gon make you sweat...gon make you groove

Botany Baby!

Herbophiles protest mass killings of plants.

An old man growing berries

"I'm losing my patience with you."

"Would it kill you to give me a hug?"