Household Chore Comedian Mugs

"WHY did you get rid of the vacuum cleaner?"

"According to this article, snoring can result in justifiable homicide."

"I feel like pushing the envelope this morning, honey, starting with a little grape jelly for that bran muffin."

Kitchen Tetris

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

The wooden clothes horse of Troy.

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"I was ironing the curtains and fell out of the window..!"

Washing Line Walker

'I really hate cleaning this thing.'

'That's the problem with living with an artist, the fruitbowl is always off...'

'I'm not going to remind you again, Harold. Now, go get the garbage and bring it in here.'

"Mom, Dad, this is Kevin, our new ombudsman."

Desperate Househusbands: 'Help! My wife left me with the kids for two minutes while she ran to the store. Help!'

"Being a parent is like being in prison. . . except we don't get the hour of exercise."

"Honey! He's breached the recliner! I repeat, the puppy has breached my La-Z-Boy!!"

"Honey, close the fridge door while you're thinking!"

'I didn't hear you calling. I can't listen to everybody who yells at me.'

Attack of the 65 - Inch Woman

"I see the cat's left us another little offering."

'It's a new record, mom - there are six of us in here!'

Please Wait Here To Be Scolded

"I guess it's too late to warn you that I turned off the hot water."

"Our cat is the only god this home needs."

'I can't take much more of the happiness treadmill.'

"My wife, my best friend and our prenup!"

'The fire seems to be drawing well.'

"I hardly think you can call waiting for updates to install doing nothing!!"

"And that was my day at the office. Thanks, Alice, you've been a great audience!"

"The five-second rule doesn't apply to soup."

"We couldn't do this before the iron age."

'oh...You're home, just when my spirits were rising.'

'That's not true, I do listen. I'm just not very interested.'

'Be sure to bring home your divots so you can patch the bare spots in our lawn.'

"...I love the smell of an uncut lawn."