House Relocation Champion T-Shirts

Guy hauling a Uhaul truck.

"It looks like our house got sick and threw up the attic."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'And just what makes you think I don't know what I'm doing?!!'

"Careful with that - the wife made it at pottery class."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

"This happens everytime someone asks to speak to the head of the household."

Acme. Breakable prop transporter.

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

"I'm afraid the price would make him toss and turn all night for months!"

She left lots of photos out so the cat wouldn't miss her while she was away...

Once again overbudget and past dealine, the predatory boa constractor adroitly squeezes the life from its victim's wallet.

'Make up your mind, folks... King size or Queen size?'

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'

Hotel with sign 'Home sweet temporary home'

'...and when the wolves moved house I was adopted by beetles.'

"When the researcher said we were going to a gated community, I had no idea what he meant."

'My old Nehru suit! And in a pocket there's still a bottle of aftershave lotion from the glove box of my '55 Nash Rambler.'

'Quick, press control Z!'

New Swiss Army Knife

"If you can successfully complete a building permit for your home renovation, you win a prize!"

"I'm making a list of everything we have to do before we go away so we can freak out in some kind of order."

"Our smart home must know how must clutter we have, because it took it upon itself to rent a dumpster."

Wallpapering with Nails

' Oh no! I'm being repossessed! '

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

"Wanna play 'Waitin’ on the Cable Guy'?"

"I couldn't keep up the payments."

A house being demolished in order to make way for a road widening scheme, with the occupants being evicted.

"You've got a real fungus problem. You'll have to move out until it's taken care of."

Tenants Wanted: "We're in luck, boys!"

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

Homeless count.