House Gatherings Pillows

"On balance, Estelle, your party was not helpful."

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"They must be grown-up ducks, because they're eating the crusts too."

'Ahhh...'

Uncle demonstrating chemical experiments to children

"Oh, no - Karen baked a cake so dense that not even light can escape."

T"ruly, Susan, I envy no man."

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

"First I drink, then I barbecue — that's my secret."

Christmas Tree

"Thanks to my wedding planner, everyone in the wedding is still talking to each other."

"Oh my gosh, honey! Look out!"

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"Hi-yah!"

Wedding Day Itinerary.

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Duke of Clarence (Later William IV) Promenading with Family

"What makes you think I'm dripping it on my shirt?"

"Can I have another sausage Dad?"

"I'm not eating cookies before dinner. I'm having cookies for dinner!"

'Thank goodness you were wrong mom, dad says a period is what comes at the end of a sentence.'

The prying mantis,

Illustration from an Unpublished Novel

"See this jelly wobbling. It was waving goodbye."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'No. The television screen hasn't gone red - You've got tomato ketchup all over your glasses!'

"I say it's Kale, and I say it's spinaches shitfaced uncle."

The devil you know and his plus one

"I think I'm having pre-traumatic stress disorder."

"Whose turn is it to lick the knife?"

Barbecued dessert, anyone? The coals are PERFECT now!

"Mom, does the Russian borscht you made for dinner give me foreign-policy experience?"

"I ask that today is a good day...a day that brings family together...to show how we need one another."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.