Hotel Dweller Pillows

'Hello, reception, can I have a wake-up call in spring please?'

'King who?'

Maid.

'What was all that swerving at the cat walk?'

The Art Student.

'Let the creepy crawly hunt begin!'

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

Invasion Of The Summer Aliens

"well done rescuing my son. Now, your final task is to quietly transfer the baby to the cradle upstairs, without waking him."

Marshmallows

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

"I hate it when the damned things decide they need to get out and burn off some calories."

'I just don't feel I'm getting anywhere.'

The witch of the west again showed no water usage for the month.

'How about a game of cards?'

City Boy.

'Arf! Arf!'

'You want a quick read? How about this one: 'Memoirs of an Amnesic'?'

Camping holidays in the British summer.

Camping-Pong

'Being stuck on a desert island is one thing, but being struck on a desert island with a hoarder...'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

'It's your husband. The baby won't burp for him.'

"Is this the same gold bar I gave you last year?"

'I'm thinking of cutting my hours down to 24/7."

Reverse Mortgage.

"Arianna Stassinopoulos Huffington should write a book about you!"

Wifi whore

"I know. I miss him, too."

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

''Surprise' starts with an 'S', Wilkins! You're in the wrong drawer again!'

"This is Mr. Harrington, our mortgage nerd."

"So, you want your owners to write you off and treat you more like their kid?"

'Oh dear, what a shame - It's raining again, Pam!'

'Your wife called to remind you that you're married, sir.'