Hot Sauce Hero Pillows

'Free oven glove with every curry, sir.'

Come dine with me!

"Everything on our menu uses organic, locally sourced, graveyard-to-table ingredients."

"Vindaloo hot enough?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Roasted

"I don't bake, I don't cook, but I make one kick-ass vinaigrette."

"You're really not too extreme, huh?"

"What about the five that fell through?"

'... But, why do you want me to sign a "waiver of liability form"?'

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'

Scales

What's not to like? They're cheap, tasty adn don't destroy the Rain Forest.

"Honey, quick – the demi-glace is about to simmer – pass me a shot of Don Julio 1942 tequila!"

"Are the hot dogs the burned ones or the really burned ones?"

'Grandma makes everything from scratch! Why don't you ever buy any scratch?'

What's a Texas Tommy? A hot dog stuffed with cheese and wrapped in bacon. Little Pete's Sounds great. Does it come with anything? A coronary.

'Howard's short stay in the hospital was good for both of us. He finally appreciates my cooking.'

Need something from the fridge? This looks like a job for...Indoorman!

"Chef keeps the secrets of his sauces close to his chest"

'No pudding until you finish your oxtail soup!'

"Thanks, but there's really nothing to do while the meat's smoking."

"It's always Roy G. Biv this, Roy G. Biv that. Never Burnt Sienna!"

"Their chef makes an AMAZING hot sauce."

First Responders - Second Responders.

"Honey, I appreciate the effort, but you're frightening our son."

"Not a word, Doc! I'm having hot flashes!"

"I still feel naked without my hairnet."

You're the hot sauce on my everything.

"The recipe? From shutupandeatit.com"

'So how come at home you only make sandwiches?'

'Instead of 'shortening', shouldn't that oil be called 'fattening'?'

"It seems an ungrateful and disrespectful monster has taken over Baldo's brain."