Hosting A Christmas Dinner Pillows

"...and later the relatives will come over and the house will smell like cooking and stress hormones."

#Thanksgiving #Nofilter

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

Party time.

'Aw, mom! How come I always have to eat at the kiddie carcass?'

'I'm thankful you didn't make turnips.'

How to make an unforgettable dinner for four

"My client greatly regrets the incident with the carving knife. However, in her defense, 14 people were coming for Thanksgiving and her husband, who had just one job to do, bought only 8 rolls."

"I stuffed it with things found around the house."

I don't do wishbones. I do just-make-it-happen bones.

'I couldn't find my measuring cups, so I had to kind of wing it with the stuffing.'

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

Home for the Holidays

If I have to eat another mouthful of that sludge I'm gonna puke...

Chefs-R-Us

'Just decaning the wine, Dear; I'll be in, in a sec. Someone's at the door; and oh, yeah, the dog needs to be let in.'

'This year, I thought I'd try a self-basting turkey!'

"It helps if you think of it as a turkey."

'Oof.'

'Mary, you must give me your stuffing recipe.'

"The host? He'll be the guy standing here, alone, when the wine's gone."

Christmas was the one time of year when Roger could take advantage of working in the genetic research laboratory.

What will I do with it? It will never fit in the microwave.

"Do I still have to sit at the kid's table?"

"Perhaps it was the eel," The Lefleurs commiserate with their paying guest.

"You don't use a cookbook, Tia Carmen?"

'Your wife is right on that one. When you're invited to dinner, you take a bottle of wine as a token of your appreciation.'

You are what you eat.

'Yuck! My creamed corn is polluting my mashed potatoes!'

So glad you could make it!

Prayer to Share

Tinguely, Jean. Homage to the Dinner Party Mother Spent Months Preparing. Performance Piece. 1926.

"This is sort of my little homage to the American farm woman."

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."