Hostility Humor Fans Mugs

"I was proud of you tonight. You were just hostile enough."

Life is for the birds.

"First date hairball... awkward."

'Stop complaining woman, you wanted a boating holiday!'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

"I can never remember - do these go in garbage or compost?"

In utero...boy, THOSE were the days!

'Man...You age great!'

'We found you in a cabbage!'

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

Tequila Mockingbird

'NO, it DOESN'T come on DISC!'

"Pumpkin spice has been very good to me."

"Open a wine that will make me want to watch the shows you want to watch."

"It's Doris Kearns Goodwin. Is there anything we'd like to know about the Presidency?"

"You don't sniff my butt anymore."

"This merger is not producing the expected synergies."

'Guess who's teething?'

'I knew you would come crawling back.'

'Well, the marriage guidance counsellor advised us to share each others interests, didn't she?'

"Well that's the last of our offspring gone - let battle commence."

'Roger, you're just a Rooster and I'm just a Hen. Is all of this necessary?'

'You've made a breakthrough in FINANCIAL research?', 'Yep! - I split the ATM!'

'Henry, cut that out.'

"Relax, he could just be looking for fun."

'Looks like the Wentworths are still on the outs.'

"Sorry, coffee is delivered by a union shop and you banned all things union."

What do I want out of our relationship? Same thing anyone wants. Good value.

Under New Mismanagement

"Oh you kids and that cursed painting in the closet keep me young."

"What?!"

"Manfred, don't get so defensive!"