Hospitality Connoisseurs Pillows

"Got to go, dear. The Doctor's treating me."

'I sent out for everything.'

'I really enjoyed my stay in the hospital - I never get served breakfast in bed at home.'

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

As a rule, all surprise parties start out with good intentions.

"Oh sorry, those are the Ten Commandments. Hang on, I'll get you a menu."

"Perhaps Monsieur would care for something more expensive?"

"I'm Todd, your waiter, and I'd like you to think our friendship is more than contextual."

"Here’s the thermostat. Like all hotel thermostats, it’s just for show."

Cut out and keep your own Room Service.

'I understand the new usher is in the restaurant business.'

'Another artisanal B&B.'

'I really felt at home there. The food was awful!'

"I picked this one up in France while my wife had her hip replaced."

Room service.

Waiting staff

'Room service? Please send up some fish oil.'

'Brew?'

Sparrow Hilton

"There are scones in the oven too, in case you're peckish."

Mattress sale

"I'd like to leave a wake up call for, . ... OHH ..., April."

'I brought my mini bar with me.'

'Good evening. I am your manager and these are Gaston, our chef, Raoul, your wine steward, Andre, your waiter and wilbur, your busboy.'

"Could I possibly get a bigger room?" (man bent over backwards).

"Great session, Doc."

"Here’s your room key and mini-bar."

Medical Emergencies on Holiday.

"If there's anything we can do to make your stay more pleasant, just rant about it all over the Internet."

happy bellboy carrying suitcases

"I'm so tired I can't think straight. Give me a room that's idiot-proof."

Chamber Pot - En Suite

'Ah, you must be the cleaner. I'm the dirtier.'

'Just pass them round - don't try to sell them!'

"I don't think hot chocolate sauce on the pillows is such a good idea!"