Hospital Hijinks Enthusiast Gifts

"Our regular anaesthesiologist called in sick today."

'Hey, Audrey! Give me a hand with this darned tape, would ya?'

"We're keeping you overnight because the nurses love you!"

"Get me this...get me that...fluff my pillow...I don't feel well...if I wanted to listen to that all day, I wouldn't have left my husband!"

"He should be up and complaining in no time."

An organ flies across the room during an operation - 'Catch it...!'

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

'Did you remove my appendix? Yes, both of them.'

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"I never imagined I'd be up on my feet this soon."

'I'm afraid it's bad news Mr.Hooper, I've just got the report on your finances.'

"Grandmother, what big diastolic numbers you have."

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"She's losing a lot of cream cheese. We're going to have to cut her open."

'Yeah, bit how does the stork get into the maternity room?'

"It says you need a CT scan and that the azaleas in the corner need to be watered twice daily."

While you're at it, will you sew on my shirt button please?

'I'm a practical nurse! -- I know better than to listen to doctors!'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

"His wife and family will decide on the course of treatment, but, as his ex, feel free to open up a few old wounds."

Big slipper.

"Would you like to see today's liquidized menu?"

"Sorry, new style pain killer. It's the cut-backs I'm afraid."

'Urology...can you hold?'

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"Whoops..."

"We're a bit understaffed today, could you be 6 people?"

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

"Since Dr Mullin's ill, a temp from Manpower will perform your liver transplant."