Hospital Escapades Aficionado T-Shirts

"What should we do with this extra part?"

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

"I didn't see the coffee table in the middle of the room, due to my visual impairment, caused by the rubbish light emitted by the government approved 150 watt energy saving bulb in my apartment..."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

We charge $500 for every nook and $1,200 for every cranny during diagnosis.

Hospital porter leaving brain behind

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

'Admit it,you've been bothering the nurses again,haven't you?

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

'You can have general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down.'

"We'd like to start out being very involved with you but eventually be drawn away to much more interesting cases down the hall."

'Well my inner diagnostician thinks your inner diagnostician is completely off the wall.'

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

Fertility Center.

Hospital Visit

Elderly lady about elderly man: 'We met in ICU. We had a rheumatic encounter.'

"Dead! How do you know he's dead? You're a dermatologist."

"C'mon, walk it off!"

"I told you we were being stitched up. This consultant's bills are outrageous."

"Okay - which one of us is talking now?"

"Since laughter is the best medicine, I'm downloading the Laugh-Track App."

'She's a little upset. Apparently, when the cosmetic surgeon asked her what kind of chin she'd like, she thought he said gin and asked for a double.'

'Actually, it's a quite routine operation -- would you like to make it more interesting?'

'It's going to take me ten hours to read your care instructions and your insurance only covers an hour of care.'