Hospital Enthusiast T-Shirts

'It's going to take me ten hours to read your care instructions and your insurance only covers an hour of care.'

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

"That's the PFI wing, we thought it was going to be bigger!"

'Ready?'

Boy tricking the nurse

Hospital Visit

'I checked the database, Mrs. Nimitz. There's no such symptom.'

"When I grow up, I want to go into medicine and help people who can pay out of pocket."

'What's wrong with me, Doctor?' 'I have no idea! That information comes within doctor-patient confidentiality.'

'I asked if you were affiliated with an HMO not a UFO.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"Ugh, we get it - you're in love."

"I hope you don't mind - I'm training a brand-new assistant and I've asked her to check your blood pressure."

"Nurse, when I asked you to make the patient more comfortable I just meant plump up his pillows!"

"You only need one prescription. The other 7 are for the side effects."

"Your test results are in...now the interpretations can begin."

"As soon as your dentist gets here, we'll begin."

"So you're interested in medicine, public relations, business, contract negotiations and insurance law? Which one will you study in school?"

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

What will the little one be? Epidemiologist? Virologist? PPE manufacturer?

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

Get well soon!

Healthy Patients Only

An ounce of prevention is worth a pound of insurance forms.

'It's an emergency, Doctor. The vitamin company needs an endorsement.'

'If it don't hurt, don't mess with it!'

"I came here to be treated - not flattered!"

"You call all this a side effect?"

'Gastroenterology...do I know that?'

"Whoops..."

Eye, ear, nose, throat & real estate investment trusts.

'There, we're up and running! Let the logging in begin. . .'

Drug vending machines at hospital.