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'Wake him up. We need informed consent for the next part.'

'You'll be able to lead a normal life after the operation -- except, of course, for your enormous medical bills.'

"When was the last time anyone checked on Mr Klink."

"Since he was born today he won't begin daycare until tomorrow."

"Please, doc, pull the plug. Not on me...on the TV!"

'No, I don't think it a cute idea! Get rid of him and turn in your supervisor's uniform!'

"These are X-Rays of your operation, and this is a selfie I took with your gall bladder."

'How about a little smile for me. You've outlived my prediction!'

"I expect a speedy recovery,"

'Your doing GREAT! Tomorrow you should be able to eat hospital food!'

"I got my PhD in Nursing just so people would have to call me Doctor."

'Urology...can you hold?'

Pay Hospital Bill Here.

"Let's just start cutting and see what happens."

"What is it Doc, I can handle it."

'As for the tonsillectomy...there was a little mix-up... In other words, you now have cup size D!'

'You're either getting smaller or they're giving you bigger pillows.'

Paramedics.

'You're excused. Anyone else feel too squeamish to witness the procedure?'

"You've got to move. The bed is needed for another TV drama."

'I thought I told you to cut down on sugar.'

'I'm so proud of you sweetie, you haven't smoked for a week!'

'You can have general anesthesia or just be numbed from the wallet down.'

'Sometimes patients become a little attached.'

'When you said I had to come in for a scan, this isn't what I had in mind.'

'We've been told to get families more involved in patient care, he'll need a bath and lunch in about 30 minutes.'

'Tell me more! That's my favorite symptom!'

"Try and get some rest and in a week or two we'll put your brain back in."

'Before your 'routine' surgery, your manager would like to stop by and give you a 'routine' exit interview.'

'We've talked it over, and we've decided to hold you for observation.'

Hospital Visit

'Maintenance to the O.R....Maintenance to the O.R....'

'I've got a good idea! Let's take everything out and start from scratch.'