Horticultural Hermit Pillows

'It started off as a hobby. Then it became an obsession. Finally, one day she went in there and hasn't been heard from since.'

'You're through around here.. turn in your rubber donut!'

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

'Uh, Dad - My wife thinks she and I should have a mountain of our own.'

'Now I am become life, creator of worlds."

"Yes, I'm alone."

"These few weeks off school have convinced me that I'm definitely a stay-at-home kid."

'It's a sign of the times, a high rise block of caves reserved for hermits.'

"I just don't understand what I'm doing wrong."

"Who wants to live in a Garden Centre?"

OM, SWEET OM

'I warned him about thinking the unthinkable!'

Bearded old man atop mountain.

"Yes, I'm the wise man who lives on the top of the mountain. And believe me, the surcharge for the pizza delivery service is insane!"

"That's the worst case of Cabin Fever that I've ever seen. Luckily, spring is right around the corner."

Ovalifolium Longifora

"The meaning of life! Have you tried Googling it?"

"Boy I love this garden, there are flowers everywhere: Not only is the lady a keen gardener, but she is retired now..."

'Oh wise one - what is the secret to long life?'

"Free why-fi.”

'Wow! - Your diary is even more boring than MY diary!'

"Must've planted those seeds upside down..."

"You go on ahead. I'm going to hang out here for the next few months until everyone stops saying the word 'caucus.'"

'Oh, he's pretty wise -- I clerked for him.'

Woman meets up with guru: 'Oh, there you are, honey. Dinner's getting cold.'

'Well, in my case, Muzak DOESN'T help with meditation!'

"You, my tenacious weed, are trespassing!"

Little Dutch boy tends tulip plant

"Living underground is not what it used to be."

"He's a super-calloused fragile mystic, hexed by halitosis."

Buy one enlightenment get one free.

Excess Baggage: Some people take getting away from it all very seriously.

"Why would YOU want to know the meaning of life?"

'Because Elvis is FULL of philosophical insights.'