Horse Storyteller T-Shirts

"And the endorsement deals I get for kid's merchandise is cra-azy!"

Sympathetic nursing will work wonders

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

'She's just great with the children.'

For speedy operation and ease of control get a pony.

Don Quixote

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

Mr Tom Noddy's First Day With the Hounds Pt. 4

'Where's my horse?'

'This is what Jack and me have managed to create so far...all you have to do is add your poop to the top and we have a field record!'

It is a good idea to start by learning how to mount your pony.

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"It's the dog."

Inappropriate horse whispering.

'I know you like your stallions tall Mary, but a clydesdale?'

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

The Enemy

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

Never clip him yourself unless you are an expert.

Show Jumping Tantrums

Before her first dressage competition, Kate suffered from Pre-Traumatic Stress.

'This is one of those 'shovel ready' jobs you hear about.'

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

"I'd love to help but at the moment I'm saddled with this enormous mortgage."

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

'Tarzan'

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

A Few Common Ailments

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

Horse accidents

"What does 'giddyup' even mean?"