Canine Storyteller T-Shirts

'Dad - a leash! And all these years you've been telling me you were a wild dog from Australia!'

Missing Persons - 'Can you describe him.'

'Why in the world do you want to log on to the vet doctor. who did a 'fix' job on you?!'

The Ferocious Viking Wiener Dog

"When I first arrived, Young Master was always with me and Old Master didn't want anything to do with me, nor it's the opposite: Go figure..."

'You're going to have your future cut out for you, reading bedtime stories.'

'She's just great with the children.'

Around the Dogbox in 80 Days.

'He tells me there's one chapter of his memoir titled, 'My Likeable Master'.'

"I try to drink a lot of water, stay up and get right on L.A. time, and never eat the airline food."

Noah's Ark Book Shop has two doggie doors.

Good boy

"Forget George, he scarfs down everything in sight. Aunt Rose and Grandma are good for slipping us a slice. Most important, the kids are sloppy. We're bound to find some juicy scraps under their chairs. Stay alert!"

"It's the dog."

"Stop playing dumb, young man. I wasn't pulled out of a hat yesterday."

'A lot of my stories involve milk.'

"I got the cream, but the bulk of the old lady's estate is going to auction."

"When I was your age I would have snagged that before it hit the ground."

'Other than no dognip or an indoor bathroom, I enjoy being a dog.'

'Tarzan'

"I kid you not, he shot that duck right over the middle of the lake and said 'fetch'! Do you have any idea how cold that water is?!"

'You know, I almost envy you sometimes.'

'I don't get it. He had the smallest paws in the whole litter.'

'Farm News' readers want to know about my childhood? Rather normal really: Lived in a pigsty, ate swill every day...'

"Well, team-sports are rather difficult to organise around here: Just keep practising your bilboqiet Darling..."

"My owners named me Kvduer92hybH20UDF8fhsj becuase they wanted to remember a strong password for their online banking."

Aesop's Fables - Dog and His Own Reflection

'Not so easy, is it?'

"Didn't you find it attractive that he was a "Free Range Chicken'?"

"Frank! You're early! I never wanted you to see me like this!!"

'The animal psychiatrist said don't bother him with dog things- he doesn't know he's a dog!'

'Unfortunately The Hounds of The Baskerville were my role models.'

"And the endorsement deals I get for kid's merchandise is cra-azy!"

'Well kiddo, I'm proud to say that in all my years of service, I've never lost a sheep...'

'I'm sorry, honey, but your dog Scraps has gone on to a better place now. I sold him to that family across the road with an inground pool.'