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"The bedbugs got to me first."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

Chiller Theatre

Man using to much bug spray

Dead Funny

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Solar Frankenstein

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

I crawled out of a toilet and ate a guy. Say my name 3 times in a mirror. I dare you. No one suspects I'm Slenderman. She took me home. Then she woke up in a tub of ice missing a kidney. Urban Legends-in-Their-Own-Minds.

"Getting the hang of it?"

"Harry?... Is that you?"

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Careful."

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"Don't go in there!!"

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

"How was prom?"

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

Back to school: The Horror,

Boozing and Cruising

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'