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"The bedbugs got to me first."

'He really wanted to get into the zombie role, so he became a Meth-Head actor.'

Clyde thought “Atomic Sparklers” was just an ad gimmick

Pool attached to child's bed.

"I'm going to need a little more for the root cause than, who'da thunk."

'Senior management wanted me to raise morale so I made Lionel from accounts 'office jester'!'

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

Chiller Theatre

Dead Funny

Man using to much bug spray

Igor hesitated - "You give me that silly old brain, and i'll give you these magic beans!"

Solar Frankenstein

'I'd like my £2.50 back'

"Careful."

Man runs scared from ringing graveyard bell.

"Alone bad. Boyfriend good!"

"Do you live nearby by any chance? I hate to eat in public."

Squash Courts - "Insurance anyone"

'A vampire bat! No kidding!'

"... And don't come back until you're ready to get funny."

"I told him not to rely on his GPS whe out running!"

"I lose more girlfriends that way."

'...And the best he can do is a bunch of gophers?'

"How was prom?"

'Okay, the motorized rocking chair could use an emergency off switch.'

Unbeknownst to many, the Frankenstein legend was in fact based on Albert Grimes, the mad tree surgeon.

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"May I ask what it's in connection with?"

Man who has hailed a taxi finds the driver is a crash test dummy.

'We want more police on our streets!' 'WHAT?! Do you have any idea how dangerous it is out there?'

"I've sewn on 2 right hands, and have made you ambidextrous!"

'Okay - who removed Jessica's sunhat..?'