Horizon Humorist T-Shirts

'I think there's something wrong with the horizon, Doreen!'

"Don't be embarrassed. Most heroic archetypes your age have lost the ability to swashbuckle."

Ice Cream Surgeon

Man on motorbike with side kennel.

Bob's Driving School.

'They're being damn noisy in the hospitality box next door,'

"You shouldn't have hypnotised him"

'It feels warm enough to me.'

Snails on road - road works 'slow' sign.

'I've been sitting on this mountain for 25 years, and what I've learned is that true happiness can only be found in the soothing relief of a fast-acting hemorrhoid cream!'

Gas tank is holding up a customer for money 'Fill 'er up!'

'Whiskey and splash, sir.'

"I appreciate you have a real passion for music Mr Hibberd. . . but I can see you're going to struggle with the piano."

'Lovely soup, just like my mother used to open.'

"What, exactly, did you say to the maître d'?"

Echo Mountain...NO Yodeling! - Falling rock zone.

'Your ten percent tip.'

"At Hooters I'd already have three compliments on my tie!"

Cover story: Plant World.

Technical Terms Explained: Suckers.

Highway Advisory - Move to Arizona.

'What a bargain!'

'I've battened down the TV to protect us from weather reports.'

"Is it just me, or is it humid up here?"

"I need a transfer from the wind tunnel departmnet please."

'I was tired of my goaty, so I decided to grow a moustache...'

'EXIT -Next Exit.'

"Apologies for the delay. Your eggs Benedict should be up soon."

Leaving New York

'Waiter, there's a fly in my soup.'

"The doctor's running late. Feel free to catch up on your binge watching with our waiting room TV."

"Wow yes, it's a lovely garden, but I can only see flowers: not a carrot in sight..."

"We can do this the easy way, or we can do this the hard way."