Honey Badger Humor Pillows

Honey badger do care.

"What!?! I like a nice salad every now and then, too. What of it?"

'I'm not working on a case, I'm looking for something interesting to read in the john.'

"The chef made some substitutions to tonight's menu. Instead of Escarots a la Bourguignonne, he's cooking hot dogs."

That fateful day when curiosity actually DID kill the cat.

'Dwayne deeply regretted not placing his mother in a personal haircare home earlier.'

'Without thinking Captain Hook uses the wrong hand'

'Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday you like beans, now you don't like beans.'

'Good, lots of waxy buildup.'

Dry Hard with a Vengeance

"Rudy, if you're playing a video game in there. I'm breaking this door down. Some of us have got to go."

'Actually I have just one bee at the moment...'

Hot dog warmer

"Uh, I was drinking that."

Sudoku toilet paper

"No one quite knew what Bob did to earn a crust...rumour had it he was a biologist...with a special interest in sloths!"

"Y'know what? - sod it. . . I think I'll have the grass too. . .!"

Banana Ballet

"This banana I bought yesterday, when I peeled it it was empty!"

'Fred suddenly regretted having drunk so much coffee...'

The Puppet Poop

'But I've had a tiring day myself, darling!'

'Bloody reincarnation therapy!'

"I'm glad that you've decided not to take yourself so seriously, but. . ."

'There'll be a two-hour recess while I get my hair done.'

Fat Kid 13- Goes for a ride

"Do you remember what you had for lunch last Thursday?"

'I wonder how you flush this thing?'

'He doesn't know his arse from his elbow.'

'Two beef and pork by-products and a turkey dog, please!'

Every morning, the 'who's gonna be first?' cold seat standoff.

"I know you're in there, Miriam...hurry up, I have to go!"

'It's the law of the puszta, son. Them tripping on a banana skin, that's funny. Us tripping on a banana skin, that's a conspiracy!'

'Hello, I'd like to apply for some property insurance.'