Homeschooling Humorist Pillows

Choices, choices.

Remote learning

Madonna of the Pukes.

"I'm sure you'll grow into it, darling."

Fat Kid 10- Eats an ice-cream

"Honey, you're spoiling that child."

"This is nice, but I can't help but think we forgot something."

"No, I don’t find it funny that her first words are ‘South Park’!"

Baby's first thought...Daddy's a moron.

Young golf ball getting "the talk".

Freind: 'Misspelled, anything helps.'

"You can't prove that I broke it! Where's your physical evidence? Fingerprints or a DNA profile?"

'No. no. When your wife asked you to change the baby, she meant the diaper.'

"He doesn't really talk yet, but he does some sound bites."

'Darling - I think it's time to stop feeding the birds.'

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"I have a feeling he understands more than we think."

'I'm just exercising my first amendment rights.'

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"It may not look like it to you, but trust me, he's hyperactive. It's exhausting!"

"Beds are not made for jumping on."

'It was the little darling's first time sitting up at the dining table!'

"Have you seen my dad?"

"Here's to non-electric sharpeners."

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

"Good news. It's a small pig."

'It's basically a good master's thesis, but the word you want is 'serfs,' not 'smurfs.''

"I feel like tearing of all your clothes and putting them in the washing machine."

"She said that girls mature faster than boys, so I pulled her hair."

"My wife tells me the bee has struck again!"

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

Fat Kid 23- Catches a bogie

Yard Sale

Math Teacher

"It's nice but I'm starting to think we should just wait for his real hair to grow in."