Homes T-Shirts

Turtle checking out another shell.

Dream Home / Dream People

"I thought you said it was a turn-key house!"

Mythical lake forest.

'At least we have a roof over our heads.'

"People who live in glass houses are rare."

"Can I borrow the car keys?"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Better bring me another cookie. The last one fell in the water."

"Evidence suggests she was working on the puzzle, got up to make tea, husband enters and puts last piece in..."

DO Not Disturb (Except For Meals)

'Honey, where's my cell phone?'

Covid Inquiry / Enquiry

Dog Walking Services

"It's an update from the people tracking us. According to this, we haven't gone anywhere or done anything."

'Hi hon! How's the little monster?'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

At home with the Bones...one skeleton yells at the dog chewing his leg, 'now cut that out!'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

A Vase has fallen on a cat's head. Are mice to blame?

"I'm just going to ring the doorbell so I have a chance of a spot in the bed."

'Do you realize that we're sitting in a prefabricated house, eating precooked dinners, and listening to Chris Matthews' opinions?'

"Consider yourself lucky that you only got a little shaken up in that dryer--socks get lost in that thing and aren't ever seen again.'

Self-Isolating. Do Not Disturb (Except For Food).

'Stop cracking and hulling his seeds. He's accustomed to working for his food.'

Girl who can't cook meets guys who can't fix stuff.

A man sees Zeus throwing lightning bolts on the balcony of his apartment.

'Your fur looks like you slept in it.'

"Attention, everyone! Here comes Poppa, and we're going to drive dull care away! It's quips and cranks and wanton wiles, nods and becks and wreathed smiles."

'I'm glad you're able to be with us more, but I'd appreciate it if you'd say you're 'spending time' with us, not 'doing time' with us.'

'Fancy us all being afraid of wasps when there's a WHOLE nest of 'em in my drinks cabinet!'

"I'm trying to create a hologram of myself. If I'm successful, I'll never have to attend school, go to the dentist or go anywhere else that's boring again."

'Rabbits make great pets, but it's best to have them one at a time.'

"Wow, these slippers are really warm!"

''Food miles' is a big issue, so I'm reducing the distance my food travels by moving my fridge into the living room.'