Homeownership Milestone T-Shirts

Just Paid Off Our Mortgage

"Our light bill is astronomical living next to a black hole."

Tool Box

"Thanks! Carl put his heart and soul into it, along with, of course, lots of mud and a boatload of his own saliva."

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"I'd better enjoy this while I can. It's the only home I'll own without a mortgage!"

"But there's no way in hell I could afford Jupiter today."

Fuel bill gone through the roof

'You shouldn't have taken that personal pension.' 'You shouldn't have taken that endowment mortgage.' 'When do you get your free tv license?' Job's comforters, today.

Jack and Ina build their dream house.

Yard Sale

"You've got termites. The good news is I gave them all little phones to keep their minds off doing any damage."

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

George is pleased with himself. He replaced the toilet seat without calling a plumber.

Do you like to talk about Real Estate? Like to meet other men and women who do? Dial the... REAL-ESTATE HOTLINE

'For Sale by Neighbor'

'Harry won't even build me a new kitchen.'

"I just got a text message from our dehumidifier. It says it doesn't know how much more of this rain it can take."

'Why did you get a huge socket wrench set? You never use socket wrenches.'

"The pH level seems a little off."

"At last we own our own apartment. I feel like a king."

Gypsy curses didn't seem so threatening after the Mummy went into the peg business.

"I'm looking forward to the next thirty five years of her living with us."

"I'm afraid you neglected to submit the proper development permit application."

'The bad news is the Big Bad Wolf is coming. The good news is I've got some great rates on Homeowner's Insurance!'

'The Hunt family have solved the problem of the fire ants.'

'It says, please disregard this reminder if your payment has already been sent.'

"To be honest, I'd be stupid not to take advantage of the market."

"Good morning - I'm from your bank. We'd like our house back please!"

'We're starting to build our own house. How much is this two by four?'

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

Stan believes in calling a spade a spade.

"This place has a water view if you're looking at the mortgage."

"Whatever you do, keep up with your mortgage payments."