Homegrown Hero T-Shirts

"I guess the tomatoes were just a gateway plant."

'Mam, we're from the Monsanto Corporation. Your tomato plant is in violation of a number of copyrights.'

Planting veggies

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

"Feh! Now this is a real princess!"

'The salad bar's coming in early this year!!'

'We grow our own but I know you prefer supermarket stuff.'

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

"If you don't have time to take care of everything, Sir, Mom's vegetable garden would be a good thing to let go."

"You said gardening would be duck soup. This is vegetable soup."

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

'I'm afraid the cuts are beginning to bite!'

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

'She deserves it since she's raised our three kids with me overseas.'

"There's got to be a better way to raise potatoes!"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

It had been a while, but he had finally come home.

Wyatt returns home to visit his old small town.

Indoor Football

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

"I wish you'd get more in touch with your masculine side, Robert"

'Yes, yes, Rupert, you are still a mighty hunter. Now, please bring the turkey back to Luisa in the kitchen.'

'There are shortcuts to making home brew, but taking a swig of malt extract and letting it ferment in your mouth isn't one of them.'

Think globally. Act locally.

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

A pediatrician with children hanging off his arms

"If working 12 hours a day in a winery is making you crazy, get a hobby - like making homemade wine."

Man of steel wool.

"Sloth is a sin."

Husband does the housework