Homecooked Connoisseur Gifts

"Why do you always have to be so judgemental?"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

Counting ribs

"And which regional cuisine would you be interested in this evening—Northwester, Southwestern, Southeastern, or Northeastern?"

'We must be 50,000 calories away from home by now.'

'Why, of course I remember our first date -- I had filet mignon, potatoes au gratin, sauteed....'

'Still not ready to talk? Ok dip him again.'

Omar Khayyam Meets Trader Joe

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I come here for the pepper."

Too much cilantro

A Day In The Kitchen

'Pigs feet, sir?' 'Are they pickled?'

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

Full English Breakfast.

A burgandy from when the dow hit a record high.

'According to this, she began making wine in her laundry room 30 years ago, and now she's moved on to the garage.'

'Six different chefs in six months and they still can't make a decent broth!'

"Regular service or affected?"

Enjoying a picnic at the rugby ground

"Your mother texted us that you're not getting enough to eat, so I brought you twice what you ordered."

this bordeaux speaks for itself

"This controls the speed, this opens the door and if you press the red button a maintenance man appears and gives you a very large bill"

'Do I really have to remind you again about which one of us earns the truffles, Jean-Claude?'

Steam from dinner in restaurant forms dollar sign

When Tia Carmen says... "It's time to eat healthy!" it means... "I'm only using one stick of butter instead of three."

Bonita shows up late for the girls' Thursday night 'Jam Session'.

"Mrs. Simpson would like the recipe for your 'delicious steak pie', dear. Do you think you could dig the packet out of the recycling tub?"

"You're good mum. But, Billy's mum is a better cook than you. She only knows how to make chocolate cake."

"Well, there's your problem right there -- you need to sauté the onions in white wine before adding the ginger."

"When we remodeled, we decided to go with the granite countertop."

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'