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Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

I don't want to go out, I just want to stay in.

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Home Foreclosed Home.

"I'm tired of this cave. I want a condo!"

'I seem to be on the range but 'home' is proving illusive.'

'Hey! By appointment only!!'

Turtle Home

'It is a huge property, originally built by a Condor: Perfect for a large family...'

House hunting is cruel.

"You've got termites."

"This looks intersting. Three bedrooms, two and a half scratching posts..."

'A free goldfish with every house you buy!'

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

'Will this be a simple equity loan, or are you refinancing your whole marriage?'

'I know what you're thinking, honey, it's out of our price range but, wait till you see the size of the mailman's leg on this route!'

Oh, one door closes, another opens -- How have you been?

Nest building

New Homes

'And, as you can see, it is the perfect place to start a big family...'

'Phase Two : More of the same'

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

Changing house name.

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

"Tia Carmen, is this our house or is it our home?"

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'The Pentagon has ruled, Sargeant, since the barracks is your home,you can keep a dog, or a cat, but not both.'

"Homeowner please help."

'Well! Another near miss! Remind me not to listen to you next time you say it's okay to move in downstairs from a young family and that's not the reason the place was so cheap!'

'Cosy little kitchen, isn't it?'

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."