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Venting

'I need $600 to build a dog house: $210 for materials and labor, $150 for a permit, and $140 for an environmental impact statement.'

"I thought you were making a coffee table?"

God's Subcontractors

"Remember now, anything is DIY-abe if you just do it yourself."

'Roger's busy making a cat-flap in the kitchen.'

D.I.Y with dad.

Home De-Po. Things you need for your project. Things you didn't know you needed until you were halfway through your project.

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

Waiting for retirement.

'Uh oh. I can see another few hundred will be added to your bid.'

'We're waiting for an estimate that doesn't make him do that.'

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

"I'd love to sit down and discuss my project with you some time. Let me check my calendar and I'll get back to you."

The Best Laid Plans

"I've downsized."

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

'Dad, perhaps the fan should suck instead of blow?'

"Shall I kiss it better?"

"Ok Mr. Bisley, I'll admit it does need a bit of renovation..!"

We thought we'd put in the detail later.

Clear construction agreements are important.

Biblical Procurement Tales: Project Ark.

'Of course, that bid's just an estimate.'

"The instructions state that some anger, frustration and confusion is expected."

From Ant Farm to Ant Condo

Bob's DIY Store

"Norman's building a small Hadron Collider."

Sharon's more of a do-it-yourselfer.

'Henry, just break down and buy a power drill.'

"I didn't waste lockdown. I did my own facelift."

'I'm sorry your love seat project failed but at least it makes a romantic fire.'

'So June, do you think we should get a stairlift or just move to a bungalow...because, let's face it, we're getting on and here will come a point...when you won't be able to carry me up the stairs anymore.'

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

"What? Tiny houses are all the rage."