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:Time to check out a YouTube video?"

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"There, all neat and tidy!"

A DIY disaster.

We're putting on a subtraction.

The Day Dreamer.

'... And that's where I'm seeking planning permission to build a secret uranium enrichment plant...'

Artex cartoon

"Pity that 'on' button's a bit of a stretch."

Eggshell blue

I talked my new client into an eco-landscape. Well done. Walls using local stone. Native trees and plants. Plus

'My hubby is getting better at D.I.Y. . . . Oh yes, he now spends more on screws than plasters.'

"Shall I kiss it better?"

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"Well, dear, you can quit worrying about our roof!"

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

"... 'Do it yourself enthusiast'?... No, George is more of a, 'cock it up yourself enthusiast'!"

DIY Store "I don't know why we come here..."

"Norman's building a small Hadron Collider."

Cordless Drill and Drill Less Cords.

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

Man reading magazine: 'International Procrastinator.'

Another over-do-it-yourself project.

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

'Don't you hate it when your neighbor gets a new 'lectric drill?'

"If only Donald Trump knew of your wall-building skills!"

"Ghah! I hung the new mirror upside down!"

"Just going to do a spot of D.I.Y. dear!"

"Do me a favor. . . stick to changing the wallpaper that's on your computer."

'Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence.'

'This is great, I'll take it.' 'This is the estate agency office.'

"No, it's not a foreclosure. It's my 'Going out of business sale!' Everything must go!"

"Weren't they the people you lent the complete macrame book to?"

'I like the property - but I'm rather worried about the sugar content.'

"How many times do we have to tell you: first allow the wallpaper to settle, then remove the scaffolding!"