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"I hope you are enjoying the walk..."

"Enough with how great the public schools are. Just tell us – is there a Trader Joe’s nearby?"

"I work out in preparation for being out of shape for the next 30 years."

The Day Dreamer.

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

Child doing the washing up

'We can mortgage your future for a very attractive low interest rate.'

'I see a carefree lifestyle by a quiet lake. No, wait, my mistake - looks like I called up the real estate section.'

Turtle Home

'I think you'll all rest easy knowing this is a gated community!'

Affordable housing - Mum and Dads.

"To be honest, we were thinking of something like a Cape Cod."

New Homes

Couple wanting to buy the estate agents office.

'Oh, it's perfect, George! And it has termites, too!'

'Er, and should you ever need primal scream therapy, this house has a treatment centre conveniently next door.'

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

"And the Haves, you might say, are divided into the Gives and Give Nots."

Your dream home

'That's the sort of home I've always wanted.'

'I hope to raise enough money to buy my own house and move out at sixteen!'

:Time to check out a YouTube video?"

'Instead of being just like Michael Jordan, I wanna be just like Barack.'

'Your dream of a house with a white picket fence is still feasible, at least for the picket fence.'

'The used to be 'slippers', but now they're 'shoes for watching sports on TV'!'

"No, it's not a foreclosure. It's my 'Going out of business sale!' Everything must go!"

'This is great, I'll take it.' 'This is the estate agency office.'

Captain Pointy No.62 - Famous last words

"I'm not casing this house - I'm coveting it."

Job interview.

The reason for the real estate slump.

'We're looking for somewhere with some character and class... somewhere like Barnsley.'

"Some day I'll be president of the United States."