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'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'

'Smith, we need more creativity. You have to learn to think outside the box.'

"I didn't spark joy."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

A child at a museum starts to pull the wrappings off a mummy.

Museum. Hours. You're donating your collection of pre-Columbian art? Yes! What's Mayan is yours!

Piles of trash discarded by ancient people are a rich source of artifacts for archaeologists. I unearthed garbage dumps that advanced our understanding of prehistoric societies. On the island of Crete I found ancient trash that increased our knowledge about the Minoan people. And I recently uncovered informative Celtic rubbish. Please stop saying studying ancient cultures by what they threw away is "junk science"!

Roasted

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

Living together, couple in love.

Haunted museum

'Keep an eye on that guy, I've got a feeling he could take off!'

"He's fine, Ma'm."

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

'Now, a real collectable to bid on: a signed first edition of The First History of the World.'

'He can call whoever he wants, she's still not parking that thing in my classroom!'

'...And this property has wall to wall gravel...'

You're in violation of several bylaws, ma'am: Too many peppermint sticks, gingerbread shingles, sugar pollution of storm sewers - And with all the kids we've seen go in there, your occupancy clearly exceeds ordinances.

"I won't be needing you this year."

'It's a prize for being first to go home.'

'Are you the Octomom who needs a new house?'

Homes of the font designers

Mummy is alive at an Egyptian exhibit at a museum.

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

Homeowners.

'I just think we should start dating other artifacts.'

'Minibar' - A HotelMotel with an actual miniature Bar and Bartender in its minibar fridge.

Tourist

Coming Home

"I once dated an archaeologist - but all she kept doing was digging up the past. . ."

'Sorry we're late, we had a bit of trouble finding you.'

"Get your one-of-a-kind burial cloth of Jesus!"

'As you can see, this charming old property has been lovingly restored to its original condition of no electricity, and an outside loo.'

'Harry, what's happened to us?'