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'MY husband made the coffee table out of an old door.'

"My dang neck is killin' me again." "That's because you left your dang hanger in your coat. Again."

"You're never home."

Unicorn Working From Home

"I always thought of my childhood home as being larger."

'Brian's saved us a small fortune...making all our own furniture!'

'Home is where I hang my bat.'

'Magnolia, Michaelangelo, the ceiling was meant to be magnolia!'

Bookworm in book, sign reads: 'Tome, Sweet Tome.'

Living together, couple in love.

"That's still too high"

'We live in a designer trainer.'

The Big Tree

"I tidied away all the cushions and stuffed toy animals. It appears we never had a bed."

'I've organised the bathroom.'

'The old one fell apart.'

Feng Sushi

Non Drip Paint

"The distressed-style wood flooring we installed in the kitchen seems to have crept into Fred!"

"I'm so much more relaxed now that I got a reverse mortgage."

'Isn't it great?!'

"Kick ass!"

'Why would I want an ocean-going yacht when I've got a rocking chair in my front porch?'

Harris Realty We Make House Calls

"The building is fully renovated with VR in every unit...let's put these on to view the kitchen."

"When you said you lived in a fishbowl, I just assumed you never got out."

Satan in the fireplace

"I wanted stalagmites, but Erk here is a stalactite nut."

"Nice, but it's still a fish bowl. We'd like something with a little more privacy."

'I just love the way you've done the stone cladding.'

'Wall-to-wall carpets go on the floor, not on the walls.'

You wake up and face the crack of dawn. I wake up and face the crack of Ralph.