Home Insulator Specialist T-Shirts

A hot new green cottage industry: Knitting tea cozies that go over houses and act as insulation.

"This the first time you guys ever installed an above-ground pool?"

"No, our home wasn't stolen. Since it's a 'smart home', it keeps having itself moved to a nice neighborhood."

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Everything you say (or don't say) matters. Choose your words and intentions carefully."

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

"See this area right here, honey? This is why we need to find someone who knows what they're doing."

We're putting on a subtraction.

"So, who would you like me to call first, dear, the plumber or the exterminator?"

"Thanks, but I already have my 'support bubble' right here."

'I found out how to redecorate the easy way - just call the old wallpaper names and it will come down to slap you!'

'Hello, Acme Termite Control...?'

'Don't you think it's time you did something about the draught in here?'

New! Paint Bombs: 'Light the wick, and you have paint that's extremely easy to apply!'

"They've got insulation to die for!"

"Hang on- I'm receiving a textured message."

'Keep your feet on the joists, Cedric.'

DIY information - 'Here you are - look it up yourself.'

"I told you you'd made that cat flap too big."

"I'm a home-tech specialist. Your daughter called us. I'm here to convert her doll house into a smart doll house."

'That'll be $50 plus $200 to repair the damage you made trying to fix it yourself.'

"Here's another can. Try not to step in this one."

"There's nothing like new carpeting to freshen up a place, I say."

"I'm all set to start the weekend reno project..." "And I'm all set to call 911."

Cavity wall insulation in a gingerbread house.

I just realized how vulnerable I am to people who could hack my phone, my self-driving car, my tv, my garage door opener … So I bought a device called "Trojan Horse: that's supposed to protect me from all that. It connects to my wifi router. It monitors all my web traffic, all my connected devices, and ... well, I'm not exactly sure what it does, but it's supposed to keep the hackers out somehow. What did you say the device is called again? Now I don't worry about anyone hacking my toaster.

"Be honest...did you actually get any paint on the living room walls?"

Home 'Submerged' Home! (Home value less than mortgage).

"Maaaybe we could remove some of the electrons from our electricity and market both regular and premium grade."

"The latest news on the gardening fashion front is 'Ditch the decking'!"

A sudden draft. The moment he first felt comfortable calling himself a plumber.

Rudolph goes green (with his new compact fluorescent nose)

'Nice to meet you... And I don't use that phrase lightly.'

"It's the worst case of Sick Building Syndrome I've ever seen!"

"The one's an en suite and the other's a walk-in wardrobe."