Home Improvement Project Gifts

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Let's get organized

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

Jack of all trades

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Light Bulb Moment

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

'Is that the only wallpaper you could find?!'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

Do you mind if we stop calling this a "starter house" now?

"I finally found a use for that old home repair book..."

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

The Missing Sock Returns

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

Shed Into Dream Playhouse.

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Man using to much bug spray

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."