Home Improvement Novices Gifts

"You didn't read the fine print. This roach spray attracts them."

Let's get organized

Lady using paint roller as rolling pin for baking dough.

"No, it wasn't a sinkhole. Your old TV was so heavy the ground could no longer take the weight."

"I can't believe how great my life is now: We used to live in an apartment, but now, I have my own garden..."

Jack of all trades

"Now, I'm ready for summer."

"I spilled a red dot of paint, so I painted the whole room so you wouldn't notice it."

"You haven't got dyslexia- the instructions are in polish."

"Maybe we should cut back on those lawn catalogues."

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'I wonder if they have any water filters?'

"The kids love it, and it's saved my marriage."

"In my house, 'dirty dancing' means it's time to mop the floor."

Light Bulb Moment

'The plumber said he can't come right now, but promised to put us on his 'wading list'. Cute, huh?'

Painting by the numbers for adults

Maybe I should have measured my garden before going shopping....

Dear Santa, please can I have a powerful herbicide for Christmas. Best wishes, Adam.

'We like the occasional drink on the patio.'

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

'These elves sure are helpful around the house.'

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Christmas tree with wadded up lights.

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Painting the Ceiling

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

'I know he doesn't like this house, but he'll just have to get used to it.'

"In the whole length and breadth of this world there is no more admirable a spot for a man and his dog to pass the time than the local Home Depot."

Good News about winter

"Home depot."