Home Improvement Humorists T-Shirts

I'm sick of living on the top floor.

Aqua Filter (frog jumping out).

"Thor, honey, have you nailed that picture up yet?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'I've had the place gob-stopper-dashed.'

"Are you looking for metric or imperial sized neck bolts?"

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

"Okay, I fixed the leaking roof, and I moved the couch over to the far wall, but I'm sorry, I don't unblock toilets!"

'I don't want to be a nuisance, you can shoot me if it's more convenient.'

'No it's still not fixed'

"Whoa - You're gonna need a whole new string!"

How to Build a Bungalow

'I put lint tape all over his onesie so that, as he crawls around, he picks up the dog hair.'

It' complications galore for Sparky when easy-to-assemble instructions are read upside down.

Dog Bookends

'Yep. I used to use chemical to strip wallpaper, but the cats are more efficient, and there's no nasty smell.'

Wallpapering 4

'If straw and sticks don't appeal, I do have something in brick that might interest you.'

'When did you get a ceiling fan?'

'...and you can wash that pea-green crap off - I want Magnolia.'

"I thought it would be cheaper to weed wack our shag carpet rather than replace it."

Oh, yeah, we love having a walk-out basement.

We're with the gutter cleaning service ….

"It's not much, but we've made it our own living hell."

Do it yourself -- get someone else to do it -- get son to do it -- pay -- don't bother doing it -- move house

'We decided to rent out the back room until the baby comes.'

'There's nothing romantic about not being able to mend a fuse at your age!'

'You said to call back if the gas problem got worse.'

'What kind of bulbs did you put in here?'

"So I said 'Would it kill you to do a little yardwork?'"

'No-one else would brag about being on Rogue Traders.'

Hardware - "Where do you keep the elbow grease?"

'That's not what I meant when I asked you to add a second bathroom, Roger.'

"The carpet really brings the room together."

'That must be the termite inspector.'