Home Improvement Dreamer Pillows

'Which carries a more favorable interest rate, an auto loan or a home improvement loan? My mobile home needs a new transmission.'

Ambitions. . . To have central heating installed.

'Well, I've changed my mind on the remodel. Something tells me that the demo will be harder than it looks!'

'I don't see how you were able to work for so many years. Since you've retired you can't do a thing.'

"For a preview of how these things usually work out, go and flush a few grand down the toilet."

"And, that's the new extension for my new plasma TV screen."

'Good news. I found where the termites have been living.'

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

'How do you like my new, deep plush carpet?'

Schubert's Unfinished Basement

"I just love how wet you've made things in here."

'You've reached McWit Quality Construction. If your foundation has cracked, press 1, if your plumbing is leaking press 2, if your house is collapsing, press 3 ...'

'We've knocked out the interior walls to improve our home Wi-Fi coverage.'

A DIY disaster.

Hardware Store Tools Wrench

Mulching Vacuum Cleaner

'Will you be long, fixing this leak? I'll have to put my Bert's dinner on in ten minutes.'

D.I.Y

"...And this is the part where he veers off course from the YouTube tutorial."

"Mulch madness"

"No monsters, but there's a tear in the carpeting and I see hardwood!"

"The white flag means he gives up and will finally hire a professional to finish the renovation."

Your Home Remodel Team

'I'm counter - intelligence'

'Handyman's Special'

"It's a miracle I was able to build this desk all by myself. I'm not so handy."

Bob’s Museum

'Have you got one of those things you use to knock nails in...?'

"This condo includes free access to fitness facilities...7 flights of stairs."

'I figure that if I sell just one, I can retire.'

Wallpapering with Nails

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

Handyman Christmas tree with Tools.

'Old mother hubbard -- your cupboard is now bare.'

"I thought you were out front telling the fence company how to do their job."