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'And this is the insomnia room.'

It’s God’s country, if your God wears camouflage and dips tobacco.

"Pillows for sleeping on are downstairs. These are all for screaming into."

'I'm retiring soon and looking for something more comfortable...like a loafer.'

'I see it. You're supposed to get it!'

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

"Today on Escape to the Country Emily & Oliver are looking for that special little property in the Cotswolds. So what exactly's going to tick all their boxes?"

'Health Benefits of a Vegan Diet... How the heck did this get here?'

"No dear- I said I was going to buy you a big PROPER TEA!"

"My biggest concern is adequate closet space."

"The roof is old and leaks. The good news is when it rains you'll get an additional 3 showers."

A hunter is chased by a shark and a golfer sees sharks in the sand traps.

"Wow . . . We could really fill this room with uncomfortable silences."

'Well I think everything is in order, congratulations on your new home!'

"Not too big a garden-my wife tires easily!"

'Not only is he a good hunting dog he's a good watch dog.'

'That's what I call a boomerang sale. His wife takes one look and back it comes.'

'Every weekend he's off hunting with his buddies! I never see him!!!'

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

Real estate.

'What do you mean you can't wait for hunting season? We're only halfway thorugh fishing season!'

'Want a new house? Time to start groveling again.'

"It's really too much house for us, but Fran and I plan to live in the walk-in closet and rent the rest."

"What makes you think we're dead set on a colonial?"

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

Man in house with no roof on phone to estate agent: "Look, this house is unfinished. Please stop saying, 'It gets a lot of light'."

Some musicians discussing a new land purchase for hunting

"It's perfect."

"Why do we need a bigger house. Your folks can barely afford this one."

'Alan spends a few hours a day in his hunting blind. It helps him deal with his end of hunting season withdrawal!'

"It's a mixed-use building."

The Movers Strip - Selling houses over the internet

'Ideal for children - the play area is only a stone's throw away...'

"I thought you were getting into shape for hunting season."

'Bill gets so irritable when he can't go hunting that I prefer to keep him heavily sedated until deer season comes around!'