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Testing the speed of light in a hand-held vacuum.

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

"....Oh, and the dog's eaten all the fridge magnets."

"Careful. That house has a taser."

"For the last time, we never need the route with the fewest turns."

'But I don't want to be able to turn on the toaster with the TV remote!'

"Two questions: What time are the guests arriving, and do you still want me to slice the pepperoni?"

"We should probably talk about the elephant in the Roomba."

"The toaster is sueing the sandwich maker over custody of the bread..."

"I don't care if it does have wifi. . . it's a vegetable peeler!"

"Do screen doors just keep insects out, or other things too?"

"I am your bot server. Page me by phone and tip me in bitcoins."

'Ned thinks the inventor of the vibrating easychair should get the Nobel prize for science.'

Motor-blender.

Man Watches Live Feed of his Aquarium on Television

How the cords get all tangles up when you're away.

'So you just dry stuff? That's cool, I guess. I mean, it's not like there's some mystical force that could do that for you, like, I don't know... evaporation.'

"The last vampire who lived in it spared no expense on upgrades. Especially when it comes to the latest technology."

'Boy, these strips sure make it a lot easier to swat the flies!'

'I want a refund! It refuses to go into my son's room!!'

"Relax. I've come for your toaster."

"I'll be honest with you, I have no idea what half of this equipment does, but it looks pretty cool, don't you think?"

Girl who has been bought an oversized chatelaine large household items hanging from it

"It's a smart refrigerator that requires a password to open it. They always use one of our names. Their lack of creativity has finally caught up with them."

Auto-Broom. It's the hottest new gadget. Everybody is getting this automatic broom! It's sweeping the nation!

'This retinal camera is great, but at the price you'd think they'd include a cup holder!'

Hamilton Beach

The Invention of the Non-stick Surface

On and Off Mouse Trap

"So there really is a vacuum in outer space!"

'It's a smart TV - it only turns on for Mastermind.'

Three pieces of toast popping up from a two piece toaster

"Have you been messing about with the toaster again, Walter?"

The Internet of Things

'Stupid maid and her stupid upgrades!'