Home Envy Exceeder T-Shirts

'Look at that spread. Some fish have it so good.'

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"I shop, therefore I am."

'It was great. I hated it.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

How logos change over time.

"I'd like to toast our guests."

Computer wheeled down red carpet at film premiere. TV presenter says: 'Now, at last, here comes the real star of the movie!'

Unicyclist painting a ceiling.

'Isn't it great? It gives us four times the storage space as a regular fridge!'

"This is a little embarrassing to admit, but everything that happens happens for no real reason."

"He's fine, Ma'm."

'Keep an eye on that guy, I've got a feeling he could take off!'

"Today, State Street. Tomorrow, the State!"

'I was walking past the washers and dryers and one of my socks disappeared.'

'I blog, therefore I am.'

'When I teach you to fold laundry, wash day will be totally energy efficient... for me.'

'He can call whoever he wants, she's still not parking that thing in my classroom!'

'Come back, dear! -- I can explain!'

Location, Location, Location - Next 3 exits.

"Your grass looks great."

'Pardon the dust. We're remodeling.'

'Would our taxes be any cheaper if we lived in a sketcher?'

Bananas eye the blender

He sold appliances.

'What's the point of having a luxury car if you put it in the garage at night?'

"This is the closest I've come to owning a car!"

"If I've got no messages how do I know I even EXIST!"

Existentialist Amnesia Clinic

'Every traditional country kitchen needs an aga like this... It's perfect for keeping the microwave in.'

'I have this--wow! I must have THIS couch--deep seated envy complex...'

Where did I come from? Biology...Where am I coming from? Philosophy.

Snowman dreams of being inside in the warm.

A women is testing her House to see if it's Pregnant with a 'Home Pregnancy Test' kit

Staycation holidays...