Home Dining Maestro Gifts

Home cafeteria.

Jack of all trades

"Waiter! Two of your finest menus!"

'I'm going to make a batch of my ginger biscuits.'

'We can order Lebanese, Thai, Italian, Indian, Greek or Chinese...'

'He doesn't ask for a menu... he asks for an estimate!'

'Don't worry. They say the first 24 months of living in a house during remodeling are the hardest.'

Non-Drip ?

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"Have you decided on what you'd like to have?"

'I installed all the floor tiles by myself. I did it all by tile and error.'

"I'd like to toast our guests."

'What'll it be?'

"Marions nous! Tu payes les impôts, j'offre le resto!"

"I bet you can't name one person who makes a better lengua casserole than me!"

'We're not at home, Stu. You can't just order 'I don't care'.'

Onion Tears

"This alphabet soup is in Times New Roman. I ordered Segoe Script! May I please speak to the chef?"

"I'm unable to process this image."

"We suggest you study the menu in our reading room before being seated in the dining room."

Decorating with Children

'This 'homework,' was it done today?'

Computer Music

"I'll never understand wallpaper."

"I got into the coffee for the wordplay."

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

Organized chaos.

Pollsters

'The chef says sorry but he doesn't do rare.'

Woman watching cookery show on TV while cooking a microwave meal.

"Oh -- I've got one! If you could have dinner with anyone from history, living or dead, who would you have cater it?"

'Why do my parents have to be professional chefs?!'

'Where are the kids?'

'You followed the recipie but it's missing the secret ingredient: Mom.'

"Richard P. Ruggles—a man and his mantelpiece."