Home Decor Improvisor T-Shirts

'Yes, they delivered the piano, but I should warn you about something.'

"What's that? I asked for a teal lichen. That's a brown thread. Are you trying to upset me?"

'Fine stencilling. But have you never thought - Tit Willow, Tit Willow, Tit Willow?'

'Make sure you pretend to water it.'

'You say 'dead.' I say 'low maintenance.''

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"All in favor of destroying the throw pillow, raise your paw."

Adhesive Tiles: Do Not Open from this End.

Why it's bad when home owners change their minds about the bathroom's location late in a building project.

Tool Box

"Home depot."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

Lifestyles of the hamsters of the rich and famous.

"The knights of the round accent table"

"I said to myself, 'Maybe I can't change the world, but I can remodel my bathroom.' "

"Well, he promised you the moon and stars."

'This plant which you brought to me from your office snubs all my other plants.'

"I don't think our smart home likes the color we painted it. It keeps spitting it out."

Conservation Area

Non-Drip ?

'Ray's as excited as...well...as excited as a guy who just bought a snowblower on the eve of a storm.'

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

Unfinished Funiture Store.

'This chair ain't big enough for the both of us.'

Texturing the Walls

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"Why does this curious plant of his always make me feel gigantic?"

"You pulled most of the muscles in your back lifting your to-do list? You've got a bigger problem than pulled muscles."

Bird collecting furniture for it's home.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

I'm starting to think our new hardwood floor is made of driftwood.

'...you said, 'it only gets a bit damp when it rains'!''

'Well, that's fixed that.'

'Gerald was stripping some old wallpaper, and there it was - Leonard Da Vinci's lost fresco ‘The Battle of Anghiari'.'

'We've moved some fussy people, but she tops it!'