Home Decor Analyst Pillows

Welcome?

"Ironically, this is the living room."

"This is going to make the most amazing driftwood table."

"Make yourself comfortable on my new decorative throw rocks."

Yoga Xmas Decorations

"Oh, wow! Is that stunning or what?" "Mid-century classic. Should be in a museum. Let's pee on it." "Totally."

"You're welcome."

Four Common Lampshade Mistakes and How To Avoid Them.

'You do realise that's pot pourii?'

Woman has 3 towels in her restroom: 'Mine', 'Mine' and 'Mine'.

'I'm not sure which I like best - the fake fire or the fake man with brandy glass in front of it.'

"I'm starting to think stripes."

"On second thought, mabe it would look better over there."

'I can't move in, Ted - your lifestyle is too modern. And your furniture is way too modern.'

"I don't know the Latin, but the common name is climbing onion."

"My feng-shui consultant placed Harold in the closet."

'Welcome to the house warming! The map points out what is furniture and what is sculpture.'

"Hedge-fund managers have to have something over their sofas, too."

Posh Easter Egg

'Ooh, hey...real hardwood floors!'

"We want it to look lived in, but not necessarily by us."

"Hey, take me home with you! Position me at a slight angle next to the elegant glass soap dispenser in the guest bathroom. It'll look great, you'll see!"

Pea green

"You like it? It’s from the MoMA Store!"

King Madras

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

"My incentive for losing weight? I bought a fitted sheet a size to small."

"We're looking for something more over-the-couch-ish."

"That Feng Shui class I took is paying off!"

"Okay, lady, your new carpet is installed...you can let your dog back in now."

"Dave, we need to talk about office props and work productivity."

'Yes,I did bag him from a treestand.How did you guess?'

'I love what you've not done with the place.'

Woman crushed under satin sheets.

"My son has a magnetic personality. That's why he's always hanging on the refrigerator door."