Home-cooking Critics T-Shirts

"By golly, this tastes just like Mom used to make...she couldn't cook either!"

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

A woman standing beside a stove full of steaming pots and pans.

Lady of the Cake.

'I think the salmon is thoroughly smoked.'

'Progress of a bookshelf'

Domestic Goddess.

"You do like octopus?"

''ere - I thought you said your pans were non-stick!'

'Sorry, but we're going out for dinner.'

"First cook the cake, then apply icing sugar and candles..."

Happy Knife, Happy Wife

"O young, naive one...you must know the golden rule of the kitchen. To avoid the mother of all disrespects...never criticize the cooking of a family elder."

"I'm afraid the challah got a little burnt this week."

"Mommy's going to teach you how to make a hamburger."

'Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!'

How to Deal With Leftover Turkey

Party time.

Is that pancake ready yet?

"Bob takes everything with a grain of salt...and pepper...and garlic..."

'As a surprise I thought I'd give the new cookbook a try tonight.'

"... Oh, don't worry, I won't 'overcook it'... I hope you like, sushi."

PREPARING A POMEGRANATE FOR DUMMIES

"It's smells so good, but why do you have to wait so long?!"

Lockdown casserole

'White smoke means she decided what to cook. Black smoke means it's done.'

'It's just some Pour 'n' Serve, Stir 'n' Blend, Bake 'n' Slice, Mix 'n' Broil and Chop 'n' Simmer.'

"I'm putting you on a beef diet. Nothing beef for breakfast, nothing beef for lunch, nothing beef for tea, nothing beef for..."

Baking

'Muriel's philosophy is that what happens in the kitchen, stays in the kitchen.'

'I'm from P.E.T.A.. Are you the one who called about animal-rights abuses?'

'Does this thing get channel four.'

"It's time you took a vacation, John. I said to 'marinate'... not 'palpate' the liver!"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Congratulations, dear! Your home cooked dinner was so good you'd think it was an expensive frozen entree!