Home-cooked Hero Gifts

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"The grass is always greener where I dump out my old caldo."

"Of course the food's awful. Mom's home cooking."

Come dine with me!

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

You're the puff in my pastry!

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

Our farmer brought fresh beans, tomatoes, corn and squash this week. Nice. You should have bought into the farm share. I've got my own farmer. Mine's cheap. Mine's cheaper. Thanks, mom. You can't take more zucchini?

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

'My husband made my cake from scratch...even the candles.'

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

Slices of bread rescuing burnt toast.

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

'Caw blimey!'

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Roasted

The household cavalry

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Planting veggies

Instant Gratification Cafe.

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

The Authentic Christmas.

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

'... But, why do you want me to sign a "waiver of liability form"?'

"How are we on bread?"

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'