Home-cooked Hero Gifts

"Tia Carmen's not happy unless she can send people away with a plate of leftovers for the road."

"The grass is always greener where I dump out my old caldo."

"Of course the food's awful. Mom's home cooking."

Come dine with me!

A Good Batch.

'Have you tried our home-made wine?'

Frank moonlights as a Grill Sergeant.

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

You're the puff in my pastry!

"Tia Carmen, is it okay if my study group meets here tomorrow?"

"Just a couple of ninety cent seed packets, and you can have fresh garden vegetables for heaven knows how long."

Believe it or not: Once upon a time Dads couldn't even boil water.

"Maybe the unseen hand of the market will change the diaper."

"I thought the cake came out awfully dense."

"....And then chuck the whole lot in the dustbin and phone for a take-away."

"I take it the toilet is fixed?"

'Caw blimey!'

"Try this new IPA I just finished. Let me know if the malts and hops are layered like last week's batch." "Bailey was a really 'good boy'."

"'Well done' lulled him into complacency."

Roasted

'The upside is that if the water gets high enough all your termites might drown.'

Planting veggies

The household cavalry

Instant Gratification Cafe.

Heloise's Helpful Hints for Homebound

'Look! It's superwoman...and all her assistants!'

'Hanging around the house, Fred, just in case.'

'... But, why do you want me to sign a "waiver of liability form"?'

'Ladies no more messy pet hairs to worry about with the Decko Dynamic!'

The Authentic Christmas.

'Daddy, what did you do on Armed Services Day?'

"I did my 10,000 steps by looking for my reading glasses."

"How are we on bread?"

'The kids are on a hunger strike, I'm on a diet, and you're on your own.'

And so Bob's folks sent him off into the world. But not before running a few last tests, just to be sure he could handle it.