Home Away From Home Advocate Pillows

'We like to spend 51 weeks of the year at our Florida holiday home...'

"Your resume says that you've got your Ph.D., your M.B.A. and that you've worked as a C.F.O. and C.E.O. but that your most important title and position has been M.O.M.?"

"As you can see, we have a very flexible work-from-home-at-the-office policy."

"1. Flimsig used pallets, old foam 2. Stinkum goat wool 3. Beetup recycled lumber 4. Riskig kerosene lamp 5. Stupor hand blown by Nils 6. Smokum found on beach in Mendocino 7. Woblig 100% driftwood"

'With all these mega mergers between electronics and telecommunications firms, I just got an obscene email from the toaster...'

Going into the relationship, Tom knew Loretta was a package deal.

'I know we hadn't planned on getting a bigger car until we had kids, but I think we need one now to accommodate the bumper-stickers.'

"We were hoping that you could work from work today."

'I'm kind of a survivalist myself. I roast my own coffee and distil my own gin.'

"Of course, I can reign from anywhere in my kingdom."

"All very impressive, gentlemen...but where are you hoping to find people tiny enough to live in them?"

From learning how to use an oven to overthrowing the system.

Teleworking had many advantages but colin missed the opportunity to stand around the watercooler discussing success stories.

'Sick leave? No, but we offer work-at-home sick leave.'

"I don't even have a relationship with a bank."

"Colin didn't feel comfortable coming back to the office but he has sent his emoji in his place."

"I'm so glad I have a job where I can contribute nothing to society from home."

'We put the little old lady of Threadneedle Street into a care home.'

"My husband took the kids to Disneyland for the weekend, so the 'happiest place on earth' is actually right here."

"I prefer to work from home."

'... and with the advent of Email, fax machines, cellphones, and BlackBerries, more and more executives are working from home.'

"Can we get you another soda, Johnny?"

"That smart pillow must know you snore. It's wearing earmuffs."

You Left The Gas On...

Stay at Home, Save Lives, Coronavirus.

You shouldn't be embarrassed

"We need one of the smart vacuum cleaners that warn you when the bag is full."

'On the contrary, soap operas are a great time-saver -- you don't have to get married and have your OWN problems.'

"I'm afraid you have Zoom fatigue."

'I live an alternative lifestyle. I pay my bills.'

'Offshored jobs. Make cash. Work at home. To contact: Build big fire.'

'George, this new home security system you bought...how much did it cost?'

"This is a fine time to remember you forgot to pay our homeowner's insurance!"

"Now I remember what I wanted to tell you. The safety stop on the garage door doesn't work anymore."

'You can't beat the old style security systems!'